Something inside is burnning me

Have you ever have the feeling like you always afraid of everything? Afraid of your feeling, Afraid of your job, Afraid of your lover, Afraid of people around you, Afraid and Afraid.......

Now I feel like that. May be you not understand that feeling .....because I still don't know how to handle it. I just hope I will find the way to control and make everything are better.

I afraid of my boyfriend will be annoyed by me. I know the things I'm doing, the sentences I said made him feel not nice. Sometime I just want to be the winner in that game. Sigh.....

Seem like every bad things was happened because of myself. I'm killing people who love me by the words, bad attitude and bad gesture......Inside me is burning ....I can not control it and I don't know How it's happened? don't know "How to handle?"....................................

I know you don't understand what the thing I wrote upper. Sorry for waste your time to read it. And No need to understand my story. Because I still don't understand myself. So I'm not expect other people will understand..............