Learn to be friend with loneliness

I'm cabin attendant. It's a job which I dream and try to be. Many people were suffered by my ambitious. Especially my dear, Larry. Although I hurt him a lot but he still love me and always beside me.

I have worked for Jalways since May.....Umm eight months already. I was trainnee for six months and I start to be real cabin attendant for 2 months. Seem like I passed so many things in this 8 months. And he too....

I earn more money. I can travel and see the world more than other people. My job is so easy. Don't have much problem. It finish flight by flight. My colleagues change every flight. If you hate someone, it has not much chance to see her again. Seem like very happy life. But where is my happy.

I cry very often since I have worked here. I feel very lonely and always keep thinking about him. Although this is the job I like but I feel bad every time when I have to be alone. I'm trying to be friend with loneliness. But It is not friendly to me. It made me scare and think a lot when I have to be with. sigh...

Everytime I'm weak and sick. The most person will suffer is him. He know my story more than my parent. hehe I tell him everything until sometime I feel it too much for him. I hurt him by my story...sigh... I know how he worried about me. I know how he feel when he know have something bad happend to me but he can not do anything. Don't know how to say, Don't know how to make me feel better........

My health is getting worse. Keep vomotting. Because country change so time change. The more I be like this is the more he nurvous. sighh....

I just hope.. I can be better so he won't suffer anymore