Making Efforts..

At that time when I was Phang Nga back nearly 1 year ago. I was quite full of myself. Getting to travel alone for the first time to the famous, "land of Thai babes" haha.. Yah whatever I know of Thailand was what I had seen in movies and televisions and of course the occasional stories about "the wild time" my uncle had when he went to Thailand when he was much younger. So the painted impression of Thailand I had in mind was, cheap booze and beautiful women..(thanks to tv and movies). Nvm the fact that I cannot speak Thai at all. Body language enough already..

So there I was, one man, one intention.. trying to get the most of what I had while I was in Thailand. So I was thinking I can handle myself. I was reckless and rather awkward in socialising thus I had a " I hate Larry" fan club that popped up just after a few days I was in Thailand organised by the local Bangkok inhabitants. Great charisma huh.. Mainly because I was giving my point of view to the ppl who aren't that close to me. They perceived what I said and what I did as "show off or trying to act smart or whatever reasons there is to hate me." Poor old me, I made so many enemies and I didn't know at that time.

Example I told one trainee, Christina who had been there earlier than me, "that a guy would really appreciate it if you offer to follow him to take his car and not let him go alone instead of hanging out with us while he goes to retrive his Lamborgini (Lamborgini man.. stupid girl).. I know cause I am a guy".. And from there that trainee starts saying, "who does he thinks he is? He acts as though as he knows guys better me, a girl who have date more guys than he eats rice.." Ok.. the part about she dated that many guys was exagerated.. But nevertheless, she thinks that she knows better and thus begin another gossip on top of the way I dance and drink.. Yah and Lynn was close to that click too. So after hearing that she says like, "you know, you should not act like you know everything... Some ppl won't appreciate what you said." and all that. Today, I don't think it was a problem of what I said but rather a problem of, "once condemned, you should forever deemed condemned in the eyes of girls".. Maybe I am wrong but ppl are ppl. I cannot stop what they think of me. Everybody has their own way of seeing things. That was why I said in the beggining, " I am a deeply misunderstood man.."

Besides my dancing, my unwarranted opnions and my showing off how much I can drink (Free booze, why don't take?) there were more times how I was convicted of many other heinous crimes of unparalled appall.. I called Lynn like twice a day unrelentlessly. Mainly because it was cheap to call and that I want to get to know her better. Simply something innocent butmany ppl perceived that I wanted to F*#k her. If I was, I think I had enough money to screw any pros there and I think of who is better quality then Lynn.. See what I said about sharing opinions.. But honestly I wasn't looking for those things then. Not from her. I think at that time I was being one my most holy moment. And my upbringing really taught me to respect girls.(Thanks mom and aunties) I still do. Because my mom and aunts were probably a group with those "Girl Power Group" of yesteryears.

Anyway, Lynn hated me then and my life sucks at that time. No point dwelling on that anymore but to move forward and enjoy my time now of having finally change her opinion of me. I guess that was what matters. She sees pass through the socially awkward Malaysian who cannot get along well with many others. I might not have done much in my life. But I know being a teacher in Phang Nga and befriending my Thai studends were one of my biggest reward I had in my life. I know my impact there in 3 months wasn't great. But I cherish that I had done some small part.

Ok will continue next time. I think I sound really whiny and disorientated. Must be being too long in my office on a Saturday afternoon..