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Larry and I

Do you believe in destiny? This blog is all about my love and my boyfriend, Larry. Although I don't know how is our love in future but I just want to keep our memory forever and ever.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Something like a Dream

Being with her feels like a dream. It was when I feel complete and not think of anyone I want anymore. I just want to be with her now. But there are so many things that we need to go through together still.

I have to be in Thailand or she has to come here to make this work. We also have to work out her deep and complicated relationship with her first ex. And her father to accept me. Sometimes I do want to give up in all this. My friend did say that sometimes it is NOT that a couple cannot work things out but rather the people and the situation around them that tear them apart. I think the people around us do play an important role in our long distance relationship. Thank God that there are still people that are supportive of us to be together. I think her mom really helped.

I am afraid too. I am afraid that we could not last and what all these "nay" sayers have their wish come true. That will rob us of our dreams and believe of a Happy beginning, I mean a good married life. Why it is so hard for 2 people who loves each other to be together? Things really aren't as simple as we thought it could be. Anyway I am glad that I know her, love her and is love by her.

Someday I want to hold her hand and say this; Lynn,
I stand here today awaited long for these years of my life. To start a new beginning. To change my life and leave the very world I know behind. To make you my world and share whatever that is in it. The good, the bad the bitter sweet chapters of our lives.

From today onwards, you will not be lonely.. You will always have my unwavering support and love. You will not feel empty because my love, you can always drink from the wells of my heart for the warmth that you need and seek all your life.

As long as there is still breath of sanity in me, I will do all in my power to keep the promises I gave to you and honour them as I honour you who is my life, my best friend and most of all my wife..

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Something inside is burnning me

Have you ever have the feeling like you always afraid of everything? Afraid of your feeling, Afraid of your job, Afraid of your lover, Afraid of people around you, Afraid and Afraid.......

Now I feel like that. May be you not understand that feeling .....because I still don't know how to handle it. I just hope I will find the way to control and make everything are better.

I afraid of my boyfriend will be annoyed by me. I know the things I'm doing, the sentences I said made him feel not nice. Sometime I just want to be the winner in that game. Sigh.....

Seem like every bad things was happened because of myself. I'm killing people who love me by the words, bad attitude and bad gesture......Inside me is burning ....I can not control it and I don't know How it's happened? don't know "How to handle?"....................................

I know you don't understand what the thing I wrote upper. Sorry for waste your time to read it. And No need to understand my story. Because I still don't understand myself. So I'm not expect other people will understand..............