Freedom?

Is there a price for everything? Say if you want to succeed in life, you must work hard. If you want food you must plant seeds and plants, go hunt, fish or gather food. The world used to be more direct and whenever we want something there is always some form of direct exchange. Somthing we must give in order to gain. But today it's getting more complicated. If you want food. You must earn money. Than you need to find the seller that sells you food that you want and can consume. At the end, the connection gets more complicated and we only think we want money. Because seems like money can buy everything. So our brains think it only want money. And we begin to lose sight that we want food or the basic things in the first place.

What about freedom. We want love too. Can these 2 co-exist? Most people says yes before they are in a relationship. But ask a married person than they might say yes because their priority have been shifted because they are comfortable in the relationship. The ones who says that they lost their freedom are the ones that think they gave more than they gain in terms of love. They are married and have a responsibility to their wives or husbands and children but they still want to do what they want to do. Example, they like going out for movies and leave their children and husbands to cook or do things themselves while they can have fun. In today's world. It's normal. But if conventional thinking will frown and think that the mentioned spouse is irresponsible.

Lynn, you want freedom and love. You want to fly around the world and do the things you want. I want that for you too. But when I sense our relationship is in threat, mainly when there are other "flies" around you and you like their attention like any other person, I felt threathened and insecure. I feel like I need to control you. But I am a person that withdraws from you when I feel that. I do not attack you like a jealous person whenever I sense there is a threat. But I just go back to my own world, "Fortress of Solitude", my safe hiding place and nurse my wounds.

You on the other hand, will ask me questions and than says you don't like that and want me to change or not talk to the person anymore. But you know by saying that out will make you sound really possesive but you cannot control that. So you will try to tone down. But remember when I exchange e-mails with my ex. When I look at other girls. The way you react is more explosive than I am. You too want to control me. You too want to stop me from flirting with other girls. I know there is a difference of me going after them and you being approached by them but the threat is the same. And seemingly you do enjoy their attention so do I enjoy that they like me be around them. So all in all we do love ourselves and we want to protect our property that is each other. We are selfish when it comes to love cause we want our mate to be loyal to us. I think its instinct.

So do remember, IF you want me to loyal and not go out with other girls or spend more time with other friends besides than you. (proven when you get angry/jealous with me always hanging out with my close friends and not pay attention to you. You are happy when I am busy and can only spend my time workind and not having fun and exchanging emails with my ex or looking at other girls) than you should expect the same treatment back. If you cannot accept that, than you should not impose that..

Imagine if I can say "I want my freedom too so I can know other girls. So I can know you are the real deal. Cause I think I have not experience life enough so I go to the club and get close to other girls and fetch other girls. If I come back to you than you are the one I really want..."
I will never say that to you because to me I know you are the one I want and I show it by following what you said about not being flirty. But when I sense you really enjoy having other guys flirt with you, I think I should enjoy my youth too by getting to know more girls cause its fun to me too. Again.. I don't do that to you cause I feel bad. But bear in mind when you tell me you get so much attention, the green envy in me do rise. I understand how you feel but do you understand me too?

Lynn, I want you.. but I will give you your freedom. You are right, I should not be moody with when you are telling me that other guys go after you and it seems fun to you. I should not feel insecure because I should trust you. I should not be so sensitive because you are young and just like the attention. I will change myself and give you your precious freedom. You are moulding me to be the man you want. But I am suppressing what is only natural to most ppl. Somehow I always say that I want you to be happy. Always easier said than done.

Oh well, let say it's my fate again.